Ups and Downs

Right, I was lying there, thinking in my bed yesterday. No, rather like early this morning. I suddenly realized that I've been down for weeks. Well, about two of them weeks. I just can't believe how long it took me to realize that. I mean, two weeks? Maybe it took me that long because nothing really happened to make me feel down. It's more like a conjunction of mildly depressing things. Oh, I'm not depressed, don't worry!

Now, let's think: on the 16th of June, there was the PGCE ball, to which I was invited, but I couldn't go due to work; last Friday was the end of the PGCE, and yes, I still wonder sometimes if I could have gone to the end of it; then, I don't know if I'll have enough work this summer to pay the rent (let's say funds are low); I had been expecting something for this summer, and it won't happen, and I suppose that still buggers me somehow. And there are other things, rather intimate ones, that I keep thinking about. Oh, and I think my anemia is finally getting real bad. I have lost count of the number of times I thought I was going to pass out those days (the last time being this morning), but I've just called my GP, and have an appointment for tomorrow morning.

Of course, good things have happened too, and I'll be singing (one song) on stage next Thursday, for instance, although I can't really think of it as something great right now, cause I'm just freaking out real bad about it. I just hope I'll feel better once it's done. Oh, I've lost most of the weight I had put on in England as well, so that's cool too. And it's the beginning of the sales on wednesday, so I'll get some shopping done, nothing better when one's down (and when one's a girl).

Anyhoo, I'm not depressed at all, I suppose I just need to have a few good things happen, and I'm too tired those days. Really really tired.

Right, gotta go to bed to lie down a bit and then go get Abel at school...

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